Sierra has decided that sleep is over rated. She’d much rather spend ½ the night laying in bed crying for us to come and cuddle with her. Unfortunately this is totally unacceptable, especially now that I’m back at work. Don’t get me wrong – I love cuddling with her – just as long as it’s during daylight. This morning I was at my wits end – totally peeved. I’m not really mad at her, I’m more mad at myself. For some inexplicable reason, I feel that somehow her lack of night sleeping is my fault, like I’ve failed in teaching her how to sleep. I’m this horrible mother with a sleep deprived baby. I also feel guilty for going back to work, and often think the night waking is her way of getting some attention from me that she’s missing during the day. I also feel a huge responsibility towards her and feel that no one else can console her or meet her needs as well as I can. Because of this I feel that I can never go anywhere without her. So instead of resuming my life (running, softball, girl’s nights out etc…) I spend every spare minute at home even when she’s sleeping, just in case she wakes up and needs me to console her. Cosmo Dad was trying to console me and encourage me to go scrapbooking with my neighbour tonight and this is what he came up with:
Well you know honey, our primary objective is to make sure she stays alive. We’re doing a good job at that.
LOL! You know, he’s got a valid point. I work so hard making everything perfect for her, that I lose perspective. She’s a very happy healthy little girl despite her freak of a mother. Now I’m off to go scrapbooking!
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good for you! You deserve YOU time and work does NOT count!
I know you’re a good mother, but babies have a way of making even the best mothers feel guilty about going back to work or spending time away from them. You need some Me time and you’ll be a happier and well rounded Mom if you take some time for yourself. Remember, it’s not the amt. of time we spend with our children, it’s the quality of the the time we spend with them. I think Sierra is still adjusting to her new routine but I’m sure she will do just fine. Sometimes watching you with Sierra, I feel guilty for not spending more time with you when you were a baby! Even though I did not go back to work full time after you were born, I sometimes feel guilty about the amt. of time you spent in the playpen in the living room so I could read, do the laundry, clean the house, or watch my TV shows! From what I can see, though, you seemed to have turned out all right! I did, however; talk to you a lot even though you were “cooped” up in the playpen.
You’re a good mother Marie. Babies are funny creatures. They turn into strange children. I STILL feel like I’m the only one that can make Kaitlyn feel better and she’s 5! I’m glad you’re getting out of the house to a crop night. Have fun.
I think he’s onto something there. It’ll get better, I’m sure.
Aww, glad you went scrapbooking. I got out on Saturday for 4 hours to scrapbook with some friends at church. It was lovely to have a break. Sorry to hear about the night wakings. I like CosmoBoy’s perspective though.