Those of you who haven’t thought about what to get me can chip in to get this:
If y’all buy it for me I’ll orgasm right there on the spot! I promise!
Popularity: 3% [?]
May 26th, 2006
Poo Flinging
I love Mikey’s comment on my last post:
OK, a little sidenote… have you ever fantasized like, keeping your used dog poo bags and flinging them at people you don’t like? Or just leaving it in the car of someone who always speeds thru the neighborhood with his stereo cranked? At 2AM? I would never vandalize someone’s property like that, but damn, I really would like to. Sometimes.
Oh yeah – I have a whole list of people I wish I could fling poop at. Like the guy who cuts wood in his garage every weekend only during Sierra’s naptime. How does he know? I wish I could rig up his table saw so that the next time he turns it on poo gets splattered all over him. And the neighbours who have run out of driveway space and park their cars on their lawns. For them I would like to open the bag and smear it all across their cars…. Hmm – lemme see – for all the yappy small dogs running around off-leash? I’d fling it at them as they open their mouth to yap and choke them with it. Same thing for my chatty neighbours – then I wouldn’t have to talk to them anymore. I could go in and out of my house in peace.
Wow! Who knew I was so full of rage?
And you! Who do you fantasize about flinging poo at?
Popularity: 7% [?]
May 25th, 2006
Poo Police
Sung to the tune of: Kumbaya My Lord (I know – lightening is going to strike me down).
F’ing poo police
I hate you
F’ing poo police
I hate you
F’ing poo police
I hate you
Oh poo police, rot in hell.
There’s a story behind this:
Popularity: 5% [?]
May 23rd, 2006
To Do or Not To Do…
Procrastinating – let’s be honest, we all do it. In fact, I’m procrastinating right now! There are things I tackle right away ‘cause I like doing them. For example – I love doing things at work that demonstrate my computer savvy. Spreadsheets with calculations? No problem. Mail merges? No problem. Designing and administering a database? No problem. Those things are fun! But how about being creative? Writing a formal business letter – arrgh! Writing meeting minutes – yuck yuck!
So as I sit here eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, typing this and procrastinating, I wonder – what do you procrastinate about doing at work? What do you do when you’re procrastinating? I go to the bathroom, visit the vending machine, make myself a tea, , email friends, re-write my to do list, placing the thing I was supposed to be working on at the bottom of the list etc… The one thing I can’t do is visit blog sites and comment. So if you’re pissed off at me for not visiting, it’s not ‘cause I don’t want to – it’s ‘cause I have no time to – Cut me some slack! I’m the working mother of a freaking toddler (there’ll be more on the toddler thing in an upcoming post). (Actually I doread your posts, thanks to google reader – but unfortunately I’m not able to visit and comment). It’s funny how many things I can find to do when I’m procrastinating but when I’m anxiously waiting for 4:30 pm on a Friday afternoon, nothing I do seems to make the time go by fast enough!
Popularity: 3% [?]
May 14th, 2006
Who’s on Your List?
Remember that old episode of Friends where Ross creates a list of five different celebrities that he or Rachel can sleep with, and the other one can’t get mad? Well here’s my list of three:
- George Clooney – older probably very experienced
- Antonio Banderas – Spanish, need I say more?
- Kevin Costner – there’s something really sexy about him in a beer stained wife beater in the movie Tin Cup
And here’s my hubby’s list (silly man – never come up with three women right away on Mother’s Day…):
- Pam Anderson
- Rebecca Romijn
- Latitia Casta
Who would be on your list? (Yep – I’m fishing for TOTW ideas – now that I’m back to work I need a Monday pick me up too 
)
Popularity: 13% [?]
