Mom On The Run

Trust me on this – Noah’s ear bled after the strong language he heard over leaving his ark in the living room. Arrgh! 
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I don’t even know where to start with this post. What I do know is that I have a ton of thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head about yesterday’s very heartfelt and honest post – this post may be a an extention of that one so read on if you dare….

When my hubby travels I miss him – I miss him so much that I mourn him. Apparently I love him very very much. I say apparently because when he’s around I don’t really notice how much I love him, but when he’s gone I do notice. It’s really the only way to explain how down in the dumps I feel when he’s away. It’s funny that way isn’t it? When our hubbies are around we hate them for being so lazy, unhelpful etc… but when they’re gone you truly figure out how helpful they are and how much you miss their companionship.

Yeah so that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Like I’m in mourning.

Everyone thinks I need help with the kids. But really they’re awesome – totally awesome. They are so used to my hubby’s travelling that they are very helpful. Yes – they’re a lot of work, but we’re so settled into a routine that looking after them is the easy part. Dealing with the loneliness, mourning and feelings of being abandoned is the hard part. That’s the part that no one understands. Dinners are when I feel the most low. It’s so hard to eat a third meal in the day without adult campanionship. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because before kids and before my hubby started travelling a lot he and I bonded quite a bit over our dinners out? (I really wish we had saved that money instead but hindsight is twenty-twenty now isn’t it?). Not having any free time to explore my hobbies (running, fitness, scrapbooking, shopping) is also hard. So the combination of stress, loneliness and lack of free time turns my brain to grey cloudy skies.

It’s the clouds that keep me from reaching out. They interfere with rational thought processes. I really don’t know how to ask for help because I don’t need someone to pick up milk, go get gas for my car or anything. I need someone to be my friend. Yanno – randomly stop by to say “Hi” with chocolate of course because a good friend knows that chocolate cake, or chocolate chip cookies makes everything better.

I’m slowly sorting myself out.. Doing stuff to help myself, yanno? Doing the stuff that would make me forget about being lonely when the hubs is away. Joining clubs and getting into a regular routine. Spending an evening/week doing something for myself and hiring a babysitter to watch the kids when the hubs is away. I think that’ll help. I’ll feel better in so many ways… I’m thinking of getting a treadmill, and training for a half marathon with a Running Room training clinic. I’ve already done a ridiculous number of half marathons so I totally know what I’m getting myself into.

Sigh – this stuff is so hard. Loneliness is hard. I love my girls but they’re still little – not really best friend material…. yet. I know they will be one day, but for now I’m their mother.

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I have a million titles for this blog post:

• The World Can Suck It
• Eat Shit & Die
• Fuck the Hell Off and Leave Me the Fuck Alone

(Ok, maybe just three other titles, not a million). You get the point.

I’m done with my hubby travelling all the time for work. Actually – no – that part is ok. That’s not what really bothers me. What really bothers me are all the people who say “I don’t know how you do it…” and leave it at that. Yeah, thanks – that’s helpful.

I just wish there were more resources for somewhat single parents like me whose spouses travel a lot for work. He travels so much it’s like having sole custody where he’s allowed periodic supervised visitation. He’s been gone 4 of the past 8 weeks, and the 4 weeks he was home he rarely made it home before 8 pm, worked from home after the kids went to bed and kicked me out of the basement for conference calls. He’s worn out from the work too – there’s nothing left of him to share with me after he gives everything he has to work and the kids.

I get the shaft and he gets recognition and rewards from work. He gets the hockey tickets, the pat on the back etc… He gets to eat in restaurants, he gets to eat exotic things I can’t even pronounce and see the world (or at least a lot of different airports). (Oh! Hi Hubby’s work who reads my blog). What the fuck do I get? A box of Macaroni and Cheese that I had to “cook” myself. Kids crying that they don’t want to eat, running around or sticking their fingers in my food. I’m the one picking up the pieces. Consoling sad kids because daddy isn’t there to play with them, tuck them in and cuddle. Being the one the kids yell at for daddy not being home because they really don’t have anyone else to yell at. I’m the one who’s responsible for making sure the kids wear their pj’s on jammie day, bring their silly hat to school and do their homework. I keep groceries in the house, plan the meals, feed the kids, dress them, chauffeur them to school, daycare, swimming etc….

I haven’t had vacation in a long time because I use it all to care for sick kids ’cause no one else is around to care for them. By the time Hubby’s work lets him take his vacation I have none left to spend with him. Not that it would matter because they take his vacation away from him anyways, so I’d just end up with a day by myself.

Nobody cares about me. No one comes over to see me. No one calls me to talk to me. No one takes me out for dinner, or offers to give me a break so I can go to the gym, run, or just fucking hide in a Starbuck’s with my laptop boyfriend. Anyone who calls wants to know how the kids are doing – they’re fine but I’m not and no one fucking cares. This life sucks. I don’t want to ask for help because that’s not the same as someone caring enough to offer. I want to feel special like someone gives a fucking damn about me. But they don’t. I hate this life. I hate everyone.  I feel abondoned and I’ve stopped reaching out because I keep hoping someone will reach out for me to show me they care. 

PS – Should I call my new blog Lazy Mama Fitness or Lazy Mama’s Guide to Fitness or The Lazy Mama’s Guide to Fitness?

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Which of these foods can help your mood?

I’m going to be perfectly honest with you – I’ve been needlessly suffering from depression for four years.  Almost immediately after having my first daughter I began to feel like there were foggy grey clouds in my brain.  I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t motivate myself and I just couldn’t live in the moment with my family.  Yes people – I suffer from depression (I have good periods and bad periods).  But these days it’s not so bad because I’ve finally admitted there’s something wrong and have made some key diet changes that are making a HUGE difference in my outlook and mental health.

Did you know you can relieve depression without swallowing pills?
Many of the symptoms of depression can be directly linked to vitamin and mineral deficiencies in the average diet, which is largely comprised of empty carbs, caffeine and sugar. Depression, mood swings and fatigue often have a common cause: poor nutrition. Avoiding depression or recovering from a depressive episode is often as easy as changing your diet and boosting your consumption of key foods that deliver brain-boosting nutrients and help regulate brain chemistry.

5 foods for kicking depression’s butt:

Fish oils: Contain omega-3 fatty acids. Research has shown that depressed people often lack a fatty acid known as EPA. Participants in a 2002 study featured in the Archives of General Psychiatry took just a gram of fish oil each day and noticed a 50-percent decrease in symptoms such as anxiety, sleep disorders, unexplained feelings of sadness, suicidal thoughts, and decreased sex drive. Omega-3 fatty acids can also lower cholesterol and improve cardiovascular health. Get omega-3s through walnuts, flaxseed and oily fish like salmon or tuna.

Brown Rice: Contains vitamins B1 and B3, and folic acid. Brown rice is also a low-glycemic food, which means it releases glucose into the bloodstream gradually, preventing sugar lows and mood swings. Brown rice also provides many of the trace minerals we need to function properly, as well as being a high-fiber food that can keep the digestive system healthy and lower cholesterol. Instant varieties of rice do not offer these benefits. Any time you see “instant” on a food label, avoid it.

Brewer’s Yeast: Contains vitamins B1, B2 and B3. Brewer’s yeast should be avoided if you do not tolerate yeast well, but if you do, mix a thimbleful into any smoothie for your daily dose. This superfood packs a wide assortment of vitamins and minerals in a small package, including 16 amino acids and 14 minerals. Amino acids are vital for the nervous system, which makes brewer’s yeast a no-brainer for treating depression.

Whole-grain oats: Contain folic acid, pantothenic acid and vitamins B6 and B1. Oats help lower cholesterol, are soothing to the digestive tract and help avoid the blood sugar crash-and-burn that can lead to crabbiness and mood swings. Other whole grains such as kamut, spelt and quinoa are also excellent choices for delivering brain-boosting nutrients and avoiding the pitfalls of refined grains such as white flour.

Cabbage: Contains vitamin C and folic acid. Cabbage protects against stress, infection and heart disease, as well as many types of cancers, according to the American Association for Cancer Research. There are numerous ways to get cabbage into your diet; toss it in a salad instead of lettuce, use cabbage in place of lettuce wraps, stir fry it in your favorite Asian dish, make some classic cabbage soup or juice it. To avoid gas after eating cabbage, add a few fennel, caraway or cumin seeds before cooking. Cabbage is also a good source of blood-sugar-stabilizing fiber, and the raw juice of cabbage is a known cure for stomach ulcers.

Things to avoid:
If you’re feeling down, try avoiding caffeine, smoking and foods high in fat and sugar. Keeping your blood sugar stable and getting B vitamins is important for stabilizing your mood. Cacao can be good for mood because it releases endorphins in the brain, but watch out for milk chocolate and candy varieties high in sugar.

Other non-food things to do
* Get plenty of sunshine. Natural sunlight is a proven cure for depression.
* Engage in regular exercise at least three times per week. Exercise lifts and mood and alters brain chemistry in a positive way.
* Experience laughter. It’s good medicine.
* Take a quality superfood supplement to get even more natural medicine from the world of plants.

This post is from Lazy Mama Fitness. Please visit the original post if you would like to join the discussion.

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Post tags: Dietary fiber, Fish oil, Folic acid, health, Heart disease, Major depressive disorder, Nutrition, Omega-3 fatty acid

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Recently I launched a shiny new health and fitness blog for mommies called “Lazy Mama Fitness” (please check it out if you haven’t already). One of the features I want for my new blog is to feature one health/fitness post from another blogger every week – it could be either an original post or an existing post from the guest poster’s blog. I really don’t care which, as the post would presumably be new to my readers and a way to drive more traffic to some of my bloggy friends’ sites. Guest posting is one of the best ways to drive new traffic to your site.

Unfortuantely my first attempt at this guest posting thing didn’t quite go so well. I approached a blogger who writes a great diet humour blog to be my first guest poster. She said I could link to whatever I like. So I visited her blog, found a cute joke and posted it along with a link back to her site, fully crediting her blog for it. Unfortunately I misunderstood what was meant by “link to whatever you like” – we didn’t negotiate all of the terms and conditions of this transaction. She had meant that I could post an excerpt – ie:

I found a great post over at…. Here’s some of it:… now go and check out the full post.

Which is fine, but not the way I want to handle guest posts on my new site. When she asked me to change it, I just deleted the post, because I like I said it’s not how I want to handle guest posts. I agree she can have her own terms (it is her content afterall) but I have my own vision for my blog, so I deleted the post.

This whole situation has gotten me thinking – what’s the difference between a Cross-Post and a Guest Post? My bloggy friend felt that a guest post is original content specifically written for the blog you will be a guest poster at, while using “old” content is cross-posting and is best handled by only publishing an excerpt. I on the other hand think that a guest post is a post (either new or old) on a blog that you do not run, and a cross-post is a post (either new or old) on another blog you run. That said, she and I are both in agreement that you can’t post other people’s content without permission, which I did seek first.

Semantics – I’m seriously confuzzled. Which side of the fence do you fall on? What does a guest post mean to you? What does a cross-post mean to you? Does it matter if the content is old or new? Sigh – this blogging thing, while I’ve been doing it for five years I still find that I have a million things yet to learn.

PS – Does anyone want to help break in my new blog and post any of their new or exisiting content on Lazy Mama Fitness? I’ll give you full credit and include you on my sidebar list of Authors. You will also get your own Author page with a description of your site and list of guest posts that you have contributed to my site. Email me at: janice@lazymama.com if you would like to contribute.

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Yummy feast!

Yay! The holidays are here! Now we can enjoy our favorite seasonal dishes and desserts that we have been looking forward to all year. If you’re like me, feasting on delightful delicacies is a mainstay of any celebration, and it seems the bigger the celebration, the greater the feast. With Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s all occurring within a span of just 41 days, many of us end up at party after party, celebrating the holiday season and packing on the pounds. Reports claim that the average person gains 5-10 pounds during the holiday season. Yikes! It is much more difficult to lose weight than to gain, so if you put on even a pound or two on during the holidays, it is likely you will not lose it.

How can we you enjoy the holidays without gaining weight?
Making a plan now can help you enjoy the season without expanding your waistline. Here are 10 tips to keep yourself from becoming another holiday weight gain statistic.

1. Eat regular meals and snacks during the holidays
   You may be tempted to “save up” before you head out to a holiday party so you can eat more when you’re there. While this approach seems logical, skipping meals before or after a party will not do you any favors. It slows down your metabolism, and if you arrive at a party famished, you will likely make poor choices on what and how much to eat.
2. Get out of the kitchen to avoid overeating
   Why torture yourself? Once you have filled your plate, move to another room and engage in conversation or another activity that will take your mind off of food. If you have to be in the kitchen for cleanup, chew a piece of gum to keep you from nibbling on leftovers. You can easily add an extra 200-300 calories with just a few nibbles!
3. Make healthy contributions to the holiday menu
   Not everything at a holiday meal has to be dripping with butter, cheese, or chocolate to be appealing. Many will welcome a fresh vegetable dish or a mixed green salad. Or, take a more traditional holiday dish and modify it to reduce calories, fat, and/or sugar. Chances are nobody will even notice!
4. Step up the exercise to offset the extra calories
   The holidays are a busy time, but challenge yourself to find an extra 30 minutes in your day for physical activity. By burning 300 calories per day beyond what you normally burn, you will offset some of the extra calories you will inevitably take in. You may also consider starting a new holiday tradition that includes activity and does not revolve around food, such as ice skating, sledding or hiking through the snow. If you plan to head out to see Christmas lights, bundle up and walk from house to house rather than riding in the car.
5. Focus on quality of food, not quantity of food
   You don’t have to eat some of everything. Peruse the buffet table and choose 3-5 dishes that are the most appealing. Take smaller portions of them since they are likely rich and more calorie-laden than the foods you are used to. Enjoy your favorites and skip the rest.
6. Don’t go back for second helpings
   Whether you’re at a buffet table or an appetizer table, fill your plate once and do not go back.
7. Get to the back of the buffet line – reduces the temptation of wanting seconds
   If you are first in line to get your food, you will be done eating before the rest of the crowd. As you sit there with your empty plate, you might be very tempted to head back for seconds so you can share in the camaraderie of eating together. If you wait until most others have taken their food, you will be the one still eating while others are sitting with clean plates or going back for seconds.
8. Make healthy or non-food gifts
   Do you really need to make cookies, candies, chocolates, and caramel corn to give as gifts? You will end up licking the bowls, tasting the finished product (probably more than once, for safe measure), and maybe even saving some of each treat for yourself since you worked so hard on them. Most people receiving these gifts are also concerned about holiday weight gain, so they may be very thankful if you spare them the receipt of another batch of gluttonous treats. If food gifts are a must, then try making something healthy like granola, whole wheat bread, home-canned fruits or vegetables, or jam. You can also make non-food gifts such as candles, incense, and Christmas ornaments. Just take a trip to your local craft store and you will find endless possibilities.
9. Plan ahead to avoid temptations
   If you work in an office, be prepared for the deluge of treats that your colleagues will bring in to share. Bring your own healthy snacks to work so you don’t find yourself diving into a plate of fudge when your afternoon hunger kicks in.
10. Remember that drinks do count towards your calorie intake
    Be conscious of how many calories you take in from hot toddies, holiday punches, or other drinks that contain sugar or alcohol. While these drinks add significantly to your calorie intake, they may not curb your appetite for food. If you want to enjoy a little more food, save the calories from the drinks and choose water instead.

Celebrate sensibly and avoid putting on weight
The holidays are a time to enjoy the company of good friends, and yes, good food. So go ahead and enjoy those treats that you only get this time of year, but do it sensibly. Eat only the foods you love, and don’t waste calories on treats that are not as good as they look. Keeping the above tips in mind will help you enjoy all the holidays have to offer–without the guilt.

Got any further tips on eating sensibly during the holidays to avoid weight gain? Leave a comment below to share!

This post is from Lazy Mama Fitness. Please visit the original post if you would like to join the discussion.

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Post tags: Christmas, Christmas and holiday season, Christmas lights, Holidays, Home, Ice skating, Physical exercise, Thanksgiving

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