Being Daddy

I said to my girlfriend (Konnor’s Mom) yesterday that I wished I was a daddy instead of a mommy. You see – men get all the baby fun stuff – playing, cooing etc… When baby cries they get to hand baby over to mommy and let her fix whatever daddy did to make baby cry hysterically. Maybe that’s not the case in ALL households – but it’s certainly the case in mine. I rock 13lbs of pure crankiness to sleep, not once, not twice, but FIVE times a day (bedtime, 3 naps + after the middle of the stinkin’ night feed). My boobs are sucked dry each and every day – by the time 8:30 – 9 pm rolls around I am completely physically exhausted – there’s nothing left – no milk, no energy, no patience etc… So I’ve decided – I want to be a daddy. With our next kid my hubby can be pregnant and he can stay home and nurse our second one. He can get up in the night , feed and rock while I snore happily away all snug in my bed. I’ll go to work, chat with adult (ADULTS!), joke at the water cooler, drink coffee (mmm I miss coffee) and buy (BUY!) my lunch every day! Heck – I’ll even hide at work for 12 hours a day – just like he does. Sigh… Oh to be a dad 😀

15 thoughts on “Being Daddy

  1. The wife has few benefits at her job, so she has been talking about me possibly being the one to take a paternity leave (maybe around 6 months), which means staying at home and playing Mr. Mom.
    That scares the heck out of me! 😳

  2. I’ve had issues like this recently, and our kids are
    8, 6, and 2! I do love him dearly, and at the same time,
    I know where you’re coming from. But I know how my husband would respond,
    that he gets frustrated with himself sometimes because
    he feels like I manage everything so well with the kids.
    He doesn’t always have the instinct or patience kick in.

    I personally think that “instinct” is relative to time
    put in practices.
    This time will pass, Marie. Hang in.

  3. I totally felt the same way you do! Then I SNAPPED! Seriously SNAPPED! Now my husband comes home every evening has a nice dinner with his family then takes over for the evening. He plays Becca out, changes her, feeds her snack, gives her a bath & then we take turns putting her to sleep each night. I needed some ME time at the end of the day (and not at 10pm!), so this was our compromise. Some nights, if he has had a particurally long day or whatever I still do the evening thing, however this way he is an active Dad that can make decisions (sorta well most of the time :) ). It may just be time to put the old foot down? I know our system would not work for everyone.,…but damn it works for us :)

  4. When we talked about having kids, I told DH that this was going to be an equal opportunity baby. It took 2 to make it, and 2 to take care of it. Ryan did very well, and did his part. It wasn’t until Jason got older & Ryan switched shifts did that change.

    Now he’s had to learn toddler 101 quickly, and you can tell he’s mad at himself for loosing touch. But again I told him that the same rule applied to this baby.

    He WILL pull his weight or things are going to be very, very frosty around our household.

  5. A very good point indeed. Some ancient civilizations worshipped Goddess instead of a male god because of just that. A woman’s role in society seems to be a million times more important and dificult than a mans, therefore making it natural for us to worship the female creator, nurturer, and intelect. Somewhere a long the line we got lost when we mistook a man’s rationality and phisical strength for being god-like. The reason it seemed that men had more god-like qualities was because our roles in society were a lot easier therefore making it seem like we were more “well rounded” than women. If the roles were ever reversed, human kind would probably crumble. Either that or Woman would take over all roles just to keep the species going. The truth is men are incapable of playing that role for long periods of time. Eventually we all snap under the pressure. This is why male lions would rather eat their young than try and take care of them. There is no such thing as an all male species, but there are several all female organisms that can reproduce on their own. If God is a male than he must be a pretty selve loathing deity. Just a little something to stir the pot a little don’t take it all too seriously. There is no fun in fundamentalism.

    Uncle Mike

  6. I agree with the other commenters, you’ve got to make the daddy see that mommy needs some ‘me’ time. Hopefully you guys will be able to work something out so it won’t go the way of my ex-marriage.

    Sharing responsibility is one of the more important factors within a marriage, and can make or break things.

  7. I’m ready and willing to admit that dads have it much easier than moms, and we get out of that whole birth thing. But there’s also a bond between moms and children that dads don’t get to experience. There’s a trade.

  8. Well, Sierra is doing her part! Didn’t you post recently that she saves her big massive shit for when Daddy gets home and he gets to change her? lol I know what you’re saying, been there, done that. As Sierra gets older, you’ll see that Daddy will be more responsive to her needs, but let’s face it, YOU are her universe right now, whether you like it or not. It’s only natural for her to want you to look after her and it’s also natural for Daddies not to take as active a part as Mommies. Don’t worry, Marie, you picked a good man to be the father of your children and there is no doubt in my mind that as she gets older, he will take a more active role in raising her. Besides, Mommies are just a whole lot better than Daddies are at meeting their babies’ needs – men tend to get frustrated as they don’t seem to be able to tune in to their babies’ needs as well as Mommies do.

  9. But Mommy’s get so much good stuff too! We get to see most of the “firsts” and have the loving dependance of the little babies! Adult interaction is nice, but a year of being the best, most wonderful thing in the world to someone is a sweet deal too.

    I say all this knowning that I’ll be up 3-5 times tonight feeding Brayden while the rest of the house snoozes away!

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