Category Archives: Office Politics

The Glasses of Self-Doubt

On Monday night while watching my children in their swimming lessons, I did something I don’t often do. I took off my glasses. Not my real glasses – I don’t wear those. I mean my glasses of self-doubt. The glasses of self-doubt that obscure the truth and cover the world in a gray haze, tainting my view with insecurity making me doubt my abilities to raise happy, healthy confident children.

You see I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I will never be satisfied with anything I do – I always think I could have done that better, put more effort in it etc…. I’ve ran a few full-marathons and instead of being proud of finishing, I whine and complain about how I should have trained harder, pushed harder in the race, and walked less to beat that 4-hour mark that I’ve set as my goal. I came very close once and I’ve promised myself that one day I will qualify for Boston.

I digress…

When I took off my glasses Monday night, I was absolutely amazed because what I saw differed very much from what I percieve. I saw two very confident, happy little girls. Sierra (my oldest) was confidently jumping into the water, putting her face in and coming up giggling. Brooke (my youngest) was swimming with my hubby in her parent & tot class and joking and laughing with him. Before me were two very well cared for little girls who quite obviously have many of their physical and emotional needs met by their parents. Being their primary care giver, I was shocked when I realized that those needs are being met by me – I’m not the failure I perceive myself to be.

My glasses obviously have been tainting my visions of my children and probably my life too. Because I doubt myself and my abilities, I honestly believed my children were suffering. I thought that shuffling them to daycare, school and babysitters has been bad for them – that they think mommy doesn’t care about them. Like I’m copping out on parenting by working instead.  Thinking this way has made me unhappy – and I’ve been focussing on my failures lately rather than my successes, so I’m glad I took my glasses off on Monday night – because I now see my children for what they really are. They are strong, confident and independent because they know that they have to take responsibility for themselves. No one is going to do things for them unless they ask. They know that the world does not owe them, they know that they need to make things happen for themselves.  They are turning out to be the strong confident girls I want them to be and for that I’m very proud. 

Brand Protection, Reputations & Social Networking – Do You Give It Much Thought?

social As bloggers, everyday we put our personal thoughts, and by extension, our personalities out for the whole world to see in a very public forum – the internet.  Some of us even cross-link our social networking accounts ie: Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, Flickr, and Twitter to our blogs.   (Yes – I’m guilty too).  Thus, with a little digging, our true identities are easily revealed by internet savvy friends, family, disgruntled ex-lovers, current employers & potential employers.  As much as we’d like to think the internet is anonymous, it truly isn’t.  Anything we post can be found – and not always found by the right people.  This leads me to the question:

How much thought do you put into what you share while online?

I don’t mean your identity – credit card numbers, social insurance numbers, etc… I’m sure we’re all very conscious about sharing that information.  What I mean is: Do you think twice about tweeting about what your child’s teacher wore to school today?  Or about the executive who was stinking up the bathroom stall next to you this morning?  Or about your idiot client who just doesn’t get it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah – they can’t find you…

Did you know there are sites such as: yoname, wink, spokeo and pipl where you can enter an email address and find out every social networking site that that particular email address has ever registered for?  (Spokeo generates by far the best results – tried it on myself).  So take for instance, that my hubby sends me an email to my personal email address from work.  Well guess what?  Now his employer has access to everything I’ve ever said online.  Maybe you’ve emailed your own boss from home to say you’re going to be late for work or will be staying home sick?  Well guess what? Now your boss can find out what you say about them online.  Have you ever emailed your child’s teacher?  Think about it….

Brand protection and reputations are serious issues for companies – and they spend big bucks paying companies to research social networking sites. They use google, twitsearch and other social networking searches to find out what their customers are saying about them.  Social Networking is a great tool, and a great way for them to find out what their customers and clients want from them, how they feel about them etc.  However, social networking is also a great tool for them to find out what their staff, the staff of their suppliers, and the staff of their clients are saying about them – even if they don’t mention the names of the companies.

Yes – Big Brother is ALWAYS watching!  (Trust me on this).  So the next time you type up a blog post, send a tweet, update your Facebook or LinkedIn status, take a moment and consider what you’re going to say and think about who’s reputation you could hurt by it.  Is it your employer’s?  A friend’s?  A family member’s?  Or could it even be your own?  Remember – no future employer will want to hire someone who bad-mouths people, or someone who’s spelling and grammar is atrocious.

Thanks for listening to my public service message, folks, and stay-tuned for tomorrow’s post in which I will write about how you can use Social Networking to boost your reputation.

Hammering Out A Blog Post On My iPod Because I’m That Angry!

The Hubby is away on business for 3 weeks (he left Saturday). No big deal right? Lots of spouses travel for work, right? Military spouses are away for long stretches too, right?

But yanno what? Those families don’t have my kids – my kids the SLEEPLESS EFFING WONDERS!

After a whirl wind day of dropping kids off early at daycare, commuting 90 min downtown on a train for a course, commuting back home, feeding kids dinner (McDonald’s – yes studies show kids of working mother’s lead a less healthy lifestyle than their peers with SAHM’s and I totally believe it), going to swimming lessons, then arguing with kids for 90 minutes that it was bed time, I then stayed up a little too late last night fixing up Big List of Giveaways. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! I forgot my kids are the SLEEPLESS EFFING WONDERS!

Brooke woke up first at 1:15 because her pull up leaked, and bless her sweet soul, she was whimpering quietly in her bed trying to get back to sleep. I went in, changed her and her bedding and then she rolled over and whimpered back to sleep. Sierra woke up 30 minutes later and went on a hunt for mommy – why she went downstairs first I’ll never know. I heard her on the stairs crying for me, so I brought her into bed with me and she tossed and turned for 45 minutes (or longer at that time of the night/morning who the hell can tell time properly?).

I’m on a course downtown again today.

So 6 am came, I turned off the alarm and embarked on the onerous task of getting everyone dressed, fed, packed and off to their respective daycare, homecare etc… I even got the backyard ready for the pool company so they could close the pool. I made it to the train station with very few minutes to spare (flying by the seat of my pants as usual)… So I really didn’t have time for GO TRANSIT eff-wat ticket agents who don’t know what the hell a return/daypass ticket is! Although the agent charged me the right amount, she gave me a 10 ride ticket and told me I needed to cancel the ticket in the Proof of Payment machine. I said, “That’s funny, I didn’t need to do that yesterday”. I then walked to the machine and cancelled it. She called me back ’cause she realized she gave me the wrong ticket and she wanted me to give her more money!!! WHOA! I never take the train! Just for this one course which is only convenient for the speaker (all of the delegates live near me – we all talked yesterday). I “discussed” the situation with the eff-wat, I mean agent, then ran out for my train which was then pulling out of the station.

The train kept going leaving me screaming and waving on the platform. The next train came 20 minutes later!

Yes! After all the rushing, the cajoling of the kids etc.. to get to my train & course on time the EFF-WAT ticket agent made me late! The kicker? SHE DIDN’T EVEN APOLOGIZE!!!!

As tired as I am from solo parenting my SLEEPLESS EFFING WONDRS, I still made it to the train station on-time!! I am so mad that I hammered out a whole blog post on my iPod to vent! Now that’s mad!

So ummm – how’s your day going? Better I hope!