Tonight was absolutely horrible. And it was all my fault.
Sierra was utterly and completely exhausted @ 7:30 pm after watching Go Diego Go. Normally we take a long luxurious shower together, then into pj’s, then books, bottle & cuddles. Tonight I said “you’re tired, let’s skip the shower”. She had a total meltdown: “no clothes, no bed, no bubba – I wanna shower!”. Unfortunately she fights me tooth and nail over everything, so I had to stick to my guns and enforce the “I said no shower” thing. I threatened to put her to bed naked – she kept screaming, crying and not co-operating, so I put her into bed wearing only a diaper, turned the light off and left the room. A few minutes later there was no more crying. Rob went into her room to check on her. She’d pulled off her diaper and had fallen asleep – unfortunately she was sleeping in a puddle of pee. He woke her up, dressed her in her pj’s, changed her sheets, cuddled her and gave her a bottle. (I was downstairs crying – pissed off that I had to fight her, and sad that I had saddened her).
I had no idea that she valued our showers together that much. I should’ve offered her a quick shower, then short cuddles and book. But I couldn’t go back on my word. She’s a typical insane two year old. She doesn’t listen to me – she always wants her way. Things have gotten worse now that Brooke requires more attention during the day. I feel like the worse mother in the world for not realizing that shower time was her special time with mommy. A time when Brooke is handed off to daddy so that Sierra and mommy have one-on-one time. My whole rotten evening was my own damn fault and I feel awful for being a meanie to my daughter. How can I ever make it up to her?