The Vagina Monologues

So, according to Jenny McCarthy in her book “Baby Laughs”, I blew apart my vagina just over 6 weeks ago. I couldn’ve said it better myself – it certainly felt blown apart for a few weeks afterwards. Almost like I launched a rocket from there. 3-2-1 Liftoff! For all those moms-to-be who may be reading this (Mrs Mogul), that’s a grossly exaggerated description. Ummmm – ok – maybe it’s not, but there’s no turning back now, is there? Hopefully you’ll be lucky enough to be able to have some drugs, I was not

Anyways, things are better now – it’s true! Time really does seem to heal all wounds. And according to Dooce, I have one of those robotic, adjustable vaginas. In fact mine is the type of vagina that can hum show tunes or fold sheets all by itself. Just yesterday it did all of our laundry – FOUR loads! Guess what? I’m ready to reconvene the procedure! You know, the procedure that is actually the type of procedure that got us into the situation that made reconvening this procedure so difficult, if you know what I’m saying. So since we don’t want any other little Sierra’s for a while, I’ve sent Cosmo Boy off to the nearest drugstore, like a nervous teenaged boy, to buy us some contraception. Tee Hee – I can’t wait for him to get home!

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